Human Genome Project
by usagisnape
Summary: A little bit of smutty fun, kinda long, not muti chapter. Complete.


This is a little piece of smut centered around our two favorite characters in a situation that may or may not have been done, I'm not sure. I don't really care if the characters are ooc or not, so get over it. I wrote it for fun, and I hope that is what it is. Also this is written from an American point of view so there will be inconsistencies I'm sure but hey, I'm not getting paid for this so bite me if you don't like it.

  
  


Human Genome Project

Hermione Granger was twenty five, brilliant and as her last admirer had called her, sex on a stick. But most of all right now, she was bored. Bored with her life, bored with education, bored with her adventures. She had gone to college like everyone had expected, she had gone to auror training at the same time, something no one had ever done. During her studies she had traveled abroad to all the most exotic locations. She had gone on archeological digs, treasure hunts and safari's. She had traveled into the deepest jungles in search of magical ruins and existence of other magical cultures. All, of course, surpervised by a faculty member from her college. Along with the extraordinary, there was the painfully plain, that still seemed extraordinary when done by Hermione. She supported herself through college by taking odd jobs. She had been a roofer, she had painted cars and done body work, a hospital attendant, a stripper and a magical pets groomer. She worked for the college her first year and did everything from running the projector for the muggle studies majors on their movie nights to collecting recyclables on the non-magic part of campus. She was extremely well versed in many subjects. She could do most any job you threw at her and was smart enough to figure out the ones she didn't already know. 

Her greatest accomplishment, in her own mind at least, was crossing the invisible barrier that was sex. All little girls start off with a misconception of sex and love and Hermione had been no different. After her first time with her best friend Ron, she had broken down into tears to find out it was not what she expected at all. So she did what Hermione always did. She studied and she studied a lot. Madame Pince began blushing a lot at the titles of books that Hermione was researching. It wasn't until Hermione was in college that her education really started. She met a group of girls that tried to explain things to her in a different way. They told her sex was just another bodily function, enjoyable and with purpose at times, with no purpose but pleasure at other times. Sex wasn't just for the men, it was for the women to enjoy as well. Women had more control during sex than they knew and it was this fact that Hermione loved. To know that she could have the power, it wasn't about them. It was about her, if she wanted it to be. So Hermione had gone through man after man, enjoying herself and had forgotten about love. Who needs love when you had a brilliant mind and a body guys died for. She had no interest in tying herself down to one man and she didn't see that changing anytime soon.

So we find Hermione cruising down the highway in her roadster top down and Crookshanks in the seat beside her. She loved cars and had started driving when she left Hogwarts. If she was traveling somewhere she could get by car, she did. Today she was visiting her friend Rochelle who worked in London and had a flat in the shopping district. She was magical but prefer to live in the muggle world. Her job was still magically oriented but Hermione didn't know what she did. She was very secretive about it.

Hermione parked and jumped out of the car crookshanks following behind and went to ring Rochelle.

"I'm here."

"Come on up love." The short nasally message was followed by a sneeze and a cough. Hermione stared at the speaker for a moment then went in. The door was unlocked and she walked right in. Crookshanks sniffed disdainfully at a tissue on the floor and backed up into a corner, the room was littered with tissue and medicines, muggle and magical. Rochelle noticed Hermione looking around at the mess.

"You would think they would have come up with a cure for the common cold by now." Rochelle sniffed and dabbed her eyes. Hermione immediately cast an immunity spell over herself. Hopefully nothing had gotten into her system yet.

"It would help if you would clean up a little. Hermione waved her wand and the tissues danced over the wastebin and the medicined aligned themselves on one table. She cast a freshening charm on the room and opened the curtains. She cracked the windows and the warm breeze wafted in moving the curtains slightly. "There that's better. Now, how did you get sick?"

"First, I have to ask that you not judge me, I haven't told you about this because of your reaction." Hermione looked at her with questions in her eyes. Rochelle took a deep shuddering breath. "I'm an escort?"

"You escort men to parties and such?"

"Yes."

"Do you have sex with them?"

"No."

"Why did you think I would look down on that, I was a stripper, that's much worse in the eyes of society."

"Well, I was just worried you were going to start with the being in control of your body thing."

"Well you are in control of your body, your not sleeping with them, you don't allow them to beat you. You are just providing company for lonely men, right?"

"Yeah, basically."

"Then I see no problem with it."

"Great, I need you to take a client out tonight."

"What?"

"Well, you don't have a problem with me doing it, why would you have a problem with you doing it."

"I don't have a problem with doing the job, I have a problem with doing your job. I do all the work and you get the money?"

"No, I will give you the money, it's just that this guy made the appointment about a month ago, he has three dinner parties to go to and he wants the same girl to go to each of them, You know make it look like he has a girl friend. So he booked me weeks ago and now I'm sick. If I call in this late I will loose my job, and it's damn good money. So I need you to do this for the next three nights."

"Rochelle, I'm only here for the next three nights!"

"Well you don't want to hang around here with me, I'm sick." Hermione had to agree with her, the last thing she wanted to do was take care of someone sick.

"Well what if I want to have sex with this guy, might happen. Will that be bad for your reputation?"

"No, just do it off the clock, or else you become a hooker and we all know how you feel about hookers, you don't have to start with your little speech."

Hermione huffed, "Fine, well, what do I have to do?"

"He just wants someone to look good and be able to hold up their end of an intellectual conversation. You can do that can't you?"

"Rochelle you know good and well that I am well versed..."

"Just a joke Hermione there is no need to start reciting all the letters that will one day be after your name, I mean really your like that guy on the monty python sketch with all the initials that go all the way around the room."

"Ah yes the luxury yacht sketch."

"No, it's spelled Luxury yacht but it's pronounced throat waddler man grove."

"So who is my victim?"

"A forty five year old scientist slash potions master who is working on some type of secret research combining muggle technology and magical sciences. Right up your alley." 

"So when d I have to be there?"

"You have about an hour and a half?"

"Are you crazy I have to shave and wax and all that good stuff," she rolled her eyes, "How am I suppose to be ready that quick?"

"Don't worry about doing all of that, you'll never sleep with this guy anyway. He's a forty five year old devout virgin. He has turned away every girl that has ever come on to him from our company. I am actually last on the list. No one wants to go out with this guy. He's mean, rude, arrogant and treats everyone like shit."

"You sure your sick, I think your faking to get out of going with this guy."

"No, I'm suck, I wouldn't risk my job for three bad nights. Oh but you have to call yourself Rochelle! I almost forgot that. He thinks your me."

"Should I act like you too?" Hermione glared at Rochelle. "I have to go get ready for my big date now, if you'll excuse me."

  
  


An hour and a half later Hermione knocked on the door of a potions/chemistry lab on the top floor of a very antiseptic building. The door buzzed and Hemione pushed it open. She looked around at the immaculate surfaces and neatly organized test tubes. There was a bed in between two cabinets that you could have bounced a galleon off. She was more interested in the work that was going on that the man she was meeting. Although she did find it sad that he evidently slept here at times, if not all the time. She stepped into the room and was met with a brusque "Sit down."

"No thank you, I prefer to stand." She looked at the man who was slowly pouring substance from one vial to another. He was tall and had short black hair that was greying at the temples. He had smooth slender hands and was wearing a pair of silver rimmed glasses which perched atop a very familiar nose. She was staring at Professor Severus Snape potions master at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. Obviously that wasn't his title anymore. She knew that Rochelle didn't go to Hogwarts, so she didn't know who he was, that was why the name hadn't stuck with her. When Hermione had asked his name all Rochelle had said was that is started with an S. Just like Rochelle to send her here, of course she could possibly have some fun. Hermione began walking around looking at the research to see what she could get out of it. 

"I doubt tremendously if your inferior intellect can understand fully the complexities of the research that is taking place here."

"I'll have you know Doctor that I have two undergrad degrees, one of which is in potions, a masters degree and am currently working on my doctoral dissertation. I find the study of DNA interesting to say the least. It is obvious you are trying to remove a single strand from the others but what you are trying to eradicate, well I'm not sure. What materials are you working with? Fetus, cadavers what?" She walked around looking at the research comparing things and generally making him more angry.

"Well I am glad to see that they are employing a higher class of women now, but you do not need to be looking at the research especially if you understand it." He looked at her giving her his best stupid little girl looked, that stopped working on her in her sixth year. "You remind me of someone, what's your name?"

"Rochelle." she stuck her hand out, he looked at it as if she had the plague. He went back to her work. She was already formulating a plan to get even with him.

  
  


The night passed with out incident, the party was typical and everyone was delighted to find that Severus's new girl had quite a mind. Hermione really hated that she was using Rochelle's name, she could have made some good connections here. She clapped politely and was surprised when Snape got up to speak, he was such an eloquent speaker. The only speech she remembered of his was the bottling glory speech. She wondered if he had ever actually done that. When the night was over Hermione was almost expecting a good night kiss or at least a handshake, instead she got a terse, same time tomorrow, and a door in her face. She huffed back to the flat where she found Crookshanks curled up on Rochelle's back who had fallen asleep on the couch watching Monty Python reruns. It was the argument sketch and Hermione couldn't help but think that Snape was perfect for that job.

  
  


The next night Hermione was sure to wear something extra sexy and she had done some reading on human genome's she refused to be the slightest bit ignorant. She arrived at the same time and pushed the door open when it buzzed. She immediately began talking.

"It seems to me the method you are using for the abstraction of the strand is all wrong shouldn't you do something more along these lines." She grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down a formula that was a combination of muggle and magical and shoved to him. He was staring at her with a murderous look in his eyes. He reached out and took the paper and Hermione made sure to graze his fingers just lightly. He froze for a second then pulled the paper back. His eyes widened for a second and she was sure that she had heard his jaw hit the floor but when she looked directly at him he was his usual composed self. 

"Well, Rochelle, I will take this into consideration, now if you will have a seat, we have a little while. The party was postponed a few hours due to outside disturbances."

"Outside disturbances?"

"Activists who don't approve of our materials."

"So you are using fetuses. With or without permission?" He breathed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"These girls don't want their children, they abort them, but we can't use them for research. I just don't understand the need to possess something that you didn't even want. Why should it matter what we do with them. We are creating things that will help people."

"So what are you working on eliminating? Down Syndrome, Multiple Sclerosis, heart disease?"

"We are working on something much more, shall we say, primal, than that." She decided it was time for a change of topic. She plopped down on the bed.

"So have you ever had sex on this bed? It's kinda small."

"No Rochelle, I have never had sex and plan to keep it that way. It is a demeaning activity that causes people to lose focus. I didn't even lower myself to those levels when I worked with Voldemort."

"You're a very brave man to admit that you worked for Voldemort, some people are still thrown in Azkaban for saying things such as that." Hermione got up and walked close to him, not touching but very close.

"I was cleared of everything, I am a free man and free to speak as I wish. It is those very base primal urges that I am trying to remove from the body of man. I watched so many people become slaves to the needs of their body."

"But doctor, it is just that, a need. Your body needs it as does everyone else's." She ran her fingertips feather light across the back of his neck. He stiffened slightly as she walked around to face him.

"I do not need it, I am a man of mental abilities I do not fall to bodily urges so easily."

"Your body betrays you Doctor. Your cheeks are flushed, your eyes are shadowed, your lips more swollen" She lightly touched every part as she said it. "Your breathing is more ragged," she put her hand on his chest stood on her tiptoes and leaned into his ear while her hand slid lower, "and I think your pants are a little bit tighter." She pulled on the belt and waist of his pants. He gently touched her shoulders, hesitated then gently pushed her away.

"My body may betray me, but my brain has not. Rochelle, please keep your distance." Hermione wasn't put off in the slightest. She knew this man, she knew it would be more difficult than this. She wasn't ready to give up.

"Doctor how can you make judgements with out making experiments, it's not scientific. You are making snap judgements based only on experiences had by others, no formal experiences of your own. You are attempting to eradicate something that many people consider valuable."

"Please explain how something like this can ever be valuable." She was slowly backing hm up toward the bed, he didn't even seem to notice.

"You said yourself Voldemort used this type of coercion, don't you think it might be valuable to learn to control it rather than erase it."

"I really don't see how allowing myself to be overcome by these baser instincts could possibly prove anything."

"Well you would have first hand experience in knowing how damning it could be. You could site in your research the effects it had on you, good and bad. You know usual research techniques." She made the final push and he was sitting on the bed. She leaned into him, their noses almost touching. "Now I never got a good night kiss last night."

"I do not kiss, it's," She kissed him on his neck and pushed him further back on the bed, he gasped in te middle of his sentence finding it harder and harder to talk, "A ... disgusting display ... of germ transfer." She kissed her way across his neck, kissing his Adam's apple and back up to his other ear.

"It's just simple scientific experimentation Doctor." She whispered in his ear and traced the edge with her tongue. He dropped the last few inches to the bed. 

He was still mentally struggling but his body saw it's opportunity and had become mutinous. She was on all fours looking down at him and for the first time he allowed himself to register just how beautiful she was. He began to let thoughts into his head he usually didn't have, maybe this won't be so bad, if it's for science I guess it's alright. He realized his thought process was not at it's usual peak level. He tried to tell himself to remember that for later. She had begun kissing him all over his face, his eyelids, cheeks, forehead, tip of his nose. Then he felt her pillow lips on his mouth and began thinking again.

What do I do? Do I open my mouth? Do I just lay here? Do I pucker? He felt her hand playing with his hair and he found it harder to think. So he didn't and he realized he was kissing her back. 

Their mouths moved against each other creating a wonderful friction, she would turn her head and change the pace and he would follow along. She took the next step. She darted her tongue out to taste his lips, she received an audible gasp for her efforts and took it as a good sign. She licked his lips then began to kiss him again, when he seemed relaxed again she slipped her tongue into his mouth and found his tongue. It was like a game of cat and mouse at first and then he threw himself in with fervor and had his tongue moving in and out of her mouth. He began to try to take a little control and rolled her over so that he was beside her. He never broke the kiss feeling complete with her in his arms. He finally pulled back and looked at her. She smiled and it lit up her whole face.

"See that wasn't so bad was it?" She talked quietly trying not to ruin the moment but wanting to bring a little levity. He brushed a piece of hair behind her ear and looked into her eyes. They looked so familiar. He leaned back down to kiss her again when she stopped him. "Doctor, your party?" He smiled a sad smile.

"Yes, of course, we need to go." He stood from the bed and offered her his hand. He pulled her up and they sat off for the party. 

It was much like the one the night before. She met people, some of which she had met the night before, they talked, he was honored and they left. She noticed that there didn't seem to be a lot of single people, She was beginning to think that this little project of his was just him. She honestly couldn't think of anyone who would want to do away with their sex drive, usually it was the other way around.

They arrived at his apartment and instead of a door in the face she received a short kiss that she felt held more meaning. She went back to the flat. Rochelle was waiting up this time.

"So did it work?"

"Like a charm, I will be bedding him tomorrow night at the stroke of midnight. Men are such suckers, just have to know which buttons to push. Why are you still up?"

"Feeling better, plus I have been sleeping for two days straight now so I am really not tired. You want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Whatever it is that's bothering you, your chewing on your bottom lip again."

"How can someone become a forty five year old virgin and not be a priest? I knew this man seven years ago. He was scary when I was a first year, but I could see the whole tall, dark and handsome thing working for him. He's not gorgeous by any means, but neither are a number of people who are married and have made unattractive children. Why was he left out of this loop. What the hell happened to him."

"You're going to fix the problem right? So what are you worried about it for?"

"Well, I'm going to leave, he's going to think I'm you and he's going to be devastated and probably hate sex even more."

"Your still going to do it right?"

"Hell yeah, I gotta pay him back for treating me like shit all those years. He's not getting out of that."

"I'm not really sure I get your logic, your going to get back at him by giving him a night of mind blowing sex."

"Yeah, but what happens when he finds out he was sleeping with his most hated student, plus I just really want to have sex with him. I have since my sixth year."

"You are one weird girl Hermione."

  
  


The next night started the same, she arrived at his door only to be met by him in the hall.

"Sorry Rochelle, I forgot to tell you that tonight's dinner started a little earlier than the others, we need to get going." They hurried and apparated to the spot when they arrived Hermione made a big deal of how it had been her fault they were late, she was too busy worrying with her makeup. Snape smiled at her as a thank you. She didn't think he would want everyone to know his hired date wasn't notified correctly. 

The dinner went smoothly and at this point Hermione knew most of the faces around and easily held conversations with them. She tried to get information out of them. She basically learned that after Severus and the group of Hogwarts students (which she was one of) defeated Voldemort he had completed his obligation to Albus and had been set free. He had been offered many positions but really wanted to do research, so that was what he did. Basically he was allowed to do whatever he wanted because when they left him alone he came up with some amazing things. She wondered if they knew what he was working on right now. 

They apparated back to the lab and he invited her in. She was in hopes that he had maybe planned something, but it was the same. They stood in front of the lab tables his back to the table and hers to the door. 

"Rochelle, I wanted to thank you for everything over the last three days. You have been an immense help in every aspect. Your formula helped with the separation of the strands, your charming company will keep the old witches off my back when bachelor hunting season opens and our experiment last night opened my eyes to other things that I have been ignorant to. I can not possibly make a decision to remove something from a persons body without knowing exactly what it does and everything it can effect. Thank you." He leaned forward and touched her hands.

"You don't seriously think I'm going to let you off that easy? My experiment isn't done and according to my watch it is 12:01. I'm off duty." She stepped forward and he realized he couldn't go anywhere. She put her hands on his face and pulled it down to her. She kissed him and he reacted quickly this time opening his mouth and allowing her in, he wrapped his arms around her and grabbed handfuls of her cloak as if he was trying to restrain himself. She pulled back and looked into his eyes, "Take me to bed." He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, they continued kissing as they fumbled to the bed. They fell onto it from Snape's great height and immediately began fumbling with clothes. Hermione grabbed her wand and dissolved their clothes. Snape muttered something about having to remember that between kisses. He was so stiff and scared, she leaned back and looked at him, "Do what feels good Severus, this is an experiment." Soon his hands were roaming over her body, sometimes she lead them, other times he seemed to know what to do. They were both highly aroused when he finally spoke.

"I have no idea what to do?"

"Don't worry, I will help you, and if we don't get it right the first time we will do it over and over again until you get it right." She smiled at him hoping he got the implied meaning, and he did. He positioned himself over her and she helped him as he entered her. She was not surprised by the fact that he was very good at sex, she was not surprised when he lasted longer than she did, she was not surprised by her second or third orgasm screaming his name, what surprised her was when he came, loud and powerful he shouted her name, Hermione. He collapsed on top of her then rolled to the side. 

"I'm sorry, that was so amazing and then I ruined it. Rochelle please forgive me." 

Holy shit! Thought Hermione, I do not know how to deal with this. This is an overload of information. She sat up shaking and waved her wand to put her clothes back on.

"Rochelle please don't go." Hermione put on her mask of calm and turned and looked at him.

"Severus, It was an experiment. I have to go, I would have had to go anyway. Don't worry about it. She smiles at him but he noticed it didn't reach her eyes. But for the wrong reasons thought Hermione. She turned and walked to the door.

"Good night, Professor Snape." She stepped out the door and was gone, by the time he realized what she said she was long gone.

  
  


You know what the Python boys always say, no one expects the Spanish inquisition.


End file.
